Merging for Dummies

Okay, another exciting commuting issue. What is so elusive about the concept of merging?

I have two beefs. First, why is that people can see a sign that says, e.g., "LAND ENDS, MERGE RIGHT" and they don't just get over at their earliest reasonable opportunity? What about that sign says "Hey you -- just you, the special one there -- speed like a jackass up the now-empty lane to the last possible merge point, bypassing people that are dutifully waiting their turn and accommodating people like you who need to get over, because obviously you are entitled to avoid the inconvenience that everyone else is simply dealing with"? If everyone would just get over, traffic would slow down but it would not stop. Instead, we've all got to stop to accommodate some dumbass. I had a huge fight with an ex-girlfriend once because she was one of these people. Anyway, my sign to these freeloaders would say something like "LANE ENDS, MERGE INTO AN ONCOMING BUS."

Second, in stop-and-go traffic, don't try to stick the nose of your damn car in front of mine if I've already let someone else in before you. Cars that are already in the lane you want to be in have an obligation to accommodate one new person at most. I will always let one person in because I think that is my duty as a fellow traveler to get traffic moving. This is not an opportunity for someone else -- again, usually committed to going as far as he/she can before actually getting into traffic like a normal person -- to bully me into letting them in, too. Here's a tip, you're either going to get in behind me or going onto the shoulder because I am not going to let you in, even if I have to rear-end the person I let in to stop you. I HATE YOU SO MUCH!