GIFT FROM AMAZON PROTECTED BY SURPLUS CARRIE UNDERWOOD CD'S

I had a truly miserable day yesterday. The only saving grace was the laugh I got from opening a package from Amazon and seeing this:


Not pictured: the gift that I had ordered for Amy at the bottom of the box. After staring at the box for a while, I finally figured out that the CD's had been included simply to hold the gift in place and protect it from damage in transit. (There were 18 of them, plus 10 Rascal Flatts and 5 Michael Buble albums.)

I don't know whether they were out of their little airpack stuff or if a disgruntled employee was having his last day or what, but this was the only remotely good thing that happened to me yesterday and it made me laugh.

PLANNED TIME OFF RAPIDLY DEVOLVES INTO NIGHTMARE OF MEDICAL EMERGENCIES, CRIB ASSEMBLY

I have been working like a dog and recently figured out that I hadn't had a real vacation since our wedding in November 2005 (and it's questionable whether that should count). So, I planned to take last week off to recharge and take a little time for myself.

This was largely prevented by serious family health issues, both with my wife and my father. Both are doing fine now and there is no humor to be found. There was some unrelated family drama. In addition, half of my paycheck vanished due to a direct-deposit snafu, and Wells Fargo went ahead and deducted our crippling December mortgage payment on the old house in Virginia even though the sale closed in November. (The kicker is that Wells Fargo will not return the money, but hey, who needs money at Christmas?)

By the time I hit Friday, I figured there was no point in trying to salvage the vacation so I committed to assemble the crib for our baby who's due in February. Ironically, the brand name of the crib is "Simplicity." It was mostly okay actually, but it took a long time. The last step was to simply screw in two bolts, both ostensibly "Part G." Except that one of the "G" bolts was half an inch shorter than the other and completely useless. So, it remains unfinished until I can get a single replacement bolt.

Maybe for my next vacation someone can just poke me with a fire iron.