LACK OF BLOG ACTIVITY NOT TO BE TAKEN AS A SIGN OF DECREASED IRRITATION

I haven't posted in a while but I've just been very distracted with work, a decision to move to Kansas City, and my wife's pregnancy. By no means should the lack of recent posts be taken as some kind of sign that there have been no encounters with idiots or no situations that were amusing on an ironic level.

"SHOCK 'N SWIM" PERHAPS NOT THE BEST NAME FOR POOL TOY

I was in Costco last week and saw this in the children's toy department. Maybe it was just that I had seen a child get electrocuted in a pool in Syriana, but this just seemed like a very ill-advised choice.

QUICK-SETTING CEMENT SETS SO QUICKLY AS TO BE COMPLETELY USELESS

As part of getting our home ready to sell in Virginia, I've been doing a lot of home repair and maintenance work. Remarkably, given my recent streak of injuries, I still have all limbs, fingers and toes. Anyway, there were recently huge floods in the DC area and, like most people, our basement got a little bit of water. I bought some quick-setting hydraulic cement to patch a crack in the basement foundation that was one of the sources of water. Except that it essentially set in the bucket that I mixed it in a minute before.

BOTTOM OF "T" IN SIGN FOR TERMITE CONTROL SERVICE HAS BEEN EATEN THROUGH BY SOMETHING AND FALLEN OFF

I find this kind of thing endlessly amusing.

"SYMPATHETIC SOBRIETY" PLEDGE DURING WIFE'S PREGNANCY IMMEDIATELY SEEMS LIKE MISTAKE AS AWFUL MUSIC PLAYED ON WAY TO AWFUL RESTAURANT

We went to a terrible "Caribbean" restaurant in Alexandria last night. On the way there, Amy played Bright Eyes...one of her favorite bands, and I don't hate them but the guy sounds a bit like a billy goat to me. This while we're on the way to a restaurant whose circa 1997 website streams Jimmy Buffett music and whose Caribbean food turned out to be various overpriced Gordon's Fisherman quality dishes that had been burned beyond all recognition. A threat to add karaoke into the mix was thankfully not carried through.

POLICY OF NOT POSTING ABOUT WORK-RELATED IDIOCY PUSHED TO BREAKING POINT

Oh, the things I could tell you. But I won't.