WRITERS STRIKE YIELDS BEVY OF COMPLETE CRAP

“Duel.” Has anyone other than me been watching this? After the Washington Post tore the show a new one, I had to watch. The basic format of the show is not terrible per se. In the initial round, you have a certain number of chips and you are given a multiple choice question. If you’re sure of the answer, you only put one chip down. Less sure, put more chips on the other answers to cover your bases. I get it.

The problem is that that’s all there is to the game (and that the basics of the game are repeatedly drilled into your head by the host). There’s no “beat this person and then you play the REAL game”…it’s just one of these duels after another. I can see why they put it on for a solid week though. Quite simply, no one would care enough to wait a whole week to see the jackpot creep up by a few grand.

And yes, the host is totally unentertaining. Zero degrees Kelvin. I think an inanimate object would add more to the proceedings.

Duel could learn something from “Power of 10,” which I find really interesting to watch. For one thing, Drew Carey is funny, not to mention a libertarian. Second, the questions on the show are not black-and-white. It hearkens back to “Card Sharks” in that you’ve got questions based on a survey. You might think the answer should be one thing, but you have to consider what you think other people would say. And many of the questions are – gasp! – thought provoking.

As bad as Duel is, it is not the worst show on the air. That honor goes to “Crowned”…some kind of mother-daughter pageant reality show. They literally must have screened out anyone with a measurable IQ. Last week, all the teams had to do was come up with names and there were so many bad choices (and the teams were oblivious to why there were bad). Setting aside the incredibly unoriginal “Redheaded Bombshells” and “Blonde Bombshells,” one team opted for the name Skin Deep, apparently suggesting that they are incredibly shallow and truly awful people beneath their (objectively not at all) attractive exteriors.

However, I went into hysterics at one team that chose the name – and I am not making this up – “Silent But Deadly.” Again, oblivious to the common meaning of the phrase.



By the way, if you had told Carson Kressley a few years ago that he would be reduced to sharing a show with someone best known for being married to a guy in Blink 182, he would probably have killed himself.

And we've also got a wholly unnecessary updated version of "American Gladiators" on the horizon. Unless they are literally feeding Christians to lions, sorry but I will not be watching.

Probably the only upside of the writers strike has been that ABC’s “Cavemen” was allowed to limp along for a couple of extra weeks. There’s a show that redefined “comedy” (by removing the whole “needs to be humorous” restriction). Save the cave, indeed.

RANDOM MUSINGS TO CLOSE OUT 2007

Another lull in the posting that should not be taken to mean that I am not being annoyed on a daily basis...

CONCEPT OF “TURN LANE” SIMULTANEOUSLY LOST ON, DESTROYED BY TYPICAL MISSOURI DRIVER

Granted, the Kansas City metro area has nothing on driving in DC. Kansas City, however, presents its own form of bad driving, one that is perhaps more dangerous. DC’s issues mainly result from an impossibly high volume of very aggressive drivers. Kansas City has nothing approaching the volume of drivers, but the drivers appear to be (for lack of a better word) incredibly stupid.

Probably the most consistent fault I have noticed is an inability to comprehend what turn lanes are for. Ideally, a driver needing to turn across a busy street will ease over into the turn lane and wait, while drivers who are not turning can keep going without being inconvenienced.

The plan begins to break down if, for example, you only get halfway over into the turn lane and render two lanes completely useless. This is the approach taken by about 85% of drivers in Kansas City.

It had been more than a year since I yelled anything out of my window while driving. This monk-like streak was broken recently by having to scream “TURN LANE!!!” at some idiot.

UNBELIEVABLY DESTABILIZING ASSASSINATION IN CRITICAL REGION OF WORLD BRIEFLY ECLIPSES TIGER-ATTACK STORY

Stretches of slow news are a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it means that nothing too bad has happened. On the other hand, it means that the closest thing passing for news will be treated with some quasi-vigil. This Christmas, it appears to have been the apparent escape and subsequent mauling done by a tiger in San Francisco. Tragic? Sure. Affecting anyone not directly involved in any real way? Not so much. And yet, even Kansas City is running “Tiger Kills Zoo-Goers: Could It Happen HERE???” stories. Always with the obligatory photo of a tiger, in case you were unable to conceive of what one looks like.

This morning the streak came to an end with the assassination of Bhutto in Pakistan.

I am watching CNN online today and some 7 to 8 hours later, it’s already creeping back to like 25% tiger coverage.

BABY WHO HAS YET TO WALK NEEDS MOST TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED BASKETBALL AVAILABLE

We got Oliver a basketball for Christmas, not for any sports-related reason but more because he was obsessed with pumpkins over Halloween and we thought this would be an easy substitute. Naturally, I took this as an opportunity to totally overbuy.

The kicker is, of course, that Oliver shows little to no interest in the basketball.