CONCEPT OF “TURN LANE” SIMULTANEOUSLY LOST ON, DESTROYED BY TYPICAL MISSOURI DRIVER
Granted, the Kansas City metro area has nothing on driving in DC. Kansas City, however, presents its own form of bad driving, one that is perhaps more dangerous. DC’s issues mainly result from an impossibly high volume of very aggressive drivers. Kansas City has nothing approaching the volume of drivers, but the drivers appear to be (for lack of a better word) incredibly stupid.
Probably the most consistent fault I have noticed is an inability to comprehend what turn lanes are for. Ideally, a driver needing to turn across a busy street will ease over into the turn lane and wait, while drivers who are not turning can keep going without being inconvenienced.
The plan begins to break down if, for example, you only get halfway over into the turn lane and render two lanes completely useless. This is the approach taken by about 85% of drivers in Kansas City.
It had been more than a year since I yelled anything out of my window while driving. This monk-like streak was broken recently by having to scream “TURN LANE!!!” at some idiot.
UNBELIEVABLY DESTABILIZING ASSASSINATION IN CRITICAL REGION OF WORLD BRIEFLY ECLIPSES TIGER-ATTACK STORY
Stretches of slow news are a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it means that nothing too bad has happened. On the other hand, it means that the closest thing passing for news will be treated with some quasi-vigil.
This Christmas, it appears to have been the apparent escape and subsequent mauling done by a tiger in San Francisco. Tragic? Sure. Affecting anyone not directly involved in any real way? Not so much. And yet, even Kansas City is running “Tiger Kills Zoo-Goers: Could It Happen HERE???” stories. Always with the obligatory photo of a tiger, in case you were unable to conceive of what one looks like. This morning the streak came to an end with the assassination of Bhutto in Pakistan.
I am watching CNN online today and some 7 to 8 hours later, it’s already creeping back to like 25% tiger coverage.
BABY WHO HAS YET TO WALK NEEDS MOST TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED BASKETBALL AVAILABLE
We got Oliver a basketball for Christmas, not for any sports-related reason but more because he was obsessed with pumpkins over Halloween and we thought this would be an easy substitute. Naturally, I took this as an opportunity to totally overbuy.
I am watching CNN online today and some 7 to 8 hours later, it’s already creeping back to like 25% tiger coverage.
BABY WHO HAS YET TO WALK NEEDS MOST TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED BASKETBALL AVAILABLE
We got Oliver a basketball for Christmas, not for any sports-related reason but more because he was obsessed with pumpkins over Halloween and we thought this would be an easy substitute. Naturally, I took this as an opportunity to totally overbuy.
The kicker is, of course, that Oliver shows little to no interest in the basketball.
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