ONLY DANNON YOGURT COMES WITH SPECIAL INGREDIENT MADE UP BY DANNON

I was watching TV over the weekend, and I witnessed a phenomenon that I haven't seen in a while. It was a commercial for Danactive yogurt and boldly claimed "Only Danactive yogurt has L. Casei Immunitas..." As suspected, at the end of the ad this miracle ingredient was identified as Dannon's proprietary trademark. Well no wonder no one else has it.

GOD APPARENTLY UNABLE TO HELP JESUS FREAK PARK

I went into Best Buy the other day and was irritated as I watched a big truck back in and out of a spot twice before finally fitting into the spot. It was particularly irritating because the parking lot was practically empty and if this person had just been willing to park three spaces down, she wouldn't have had any trouble.

Naturally, as I passed the truck on the way into the store, I noticed just how many Jesus-related bumper stickers and related paraphernalia were on the truck. Not a ringing endorsement, lady.

To learn more about the one true God, however, please see: FSM.