MISCELLANEOUS RANTS

8.5" x 11" FEDEX ENVELOPE ONLY SUITABLE FOR SHORT LETTERS CLARIFIES THAT IT SHOULD NOT BE USED TO SHIP BLOOD

I was sending out a scathing letter for work this week (one of the few pluses of being a lawyer), but had to go down to the mail room to get a FedEx envelope for it. As I was sealing up the thin, obviously letter-sized envelope, I noticed that it had a warning on it that it should not be used to ship blood. I guess that's a good point, but my mind ran for a few minutes, imagining someone somewhere at the same time running down to their mail room with a pint of blood...or perhaps just bleeding directly into an envelope.

LOCATION OF METRO PILOT PROGRAM FOR EXPLOSIVE-DETECTING TICKET MACHINE TO BE ANNOUNCED FOR SOME REASON

Yesterday morning, the local news radio station ran a story about new technology that could detect explosives on people when they purchased subway tickets. Not a bad idea, really. But at the end of the story, they mentioned that D.C.'s Metro system had reviewed the technology and was going to install it at one station as part of a pilot program. The specific station will be announced shortly, immediately defeating any potential benefit that the technology might have. Nice job.

DEFECTIVE CAN OPENER A METAPHOR FOR ALL OF WORLD'S INJUSTICES

This happened a week or so ago, but I've been meaning to report it largely for the headline. Anyway, when you are going through a frustrating stretch, it's amazing what can break the camel's back. Work has been absolutely crazy for several months now, and I tend to come home exhausted, dream about work, wake up tired, and repeat the process.

One of the small things that I've started doing for Amy is making coffee for her in the morning. (I have never used a coffee maker before, so at some point I may share some of the misadventures of the first few days.) I had bought some new fancy coffee and set out to open it. Unfortunately our [take lord's name in vain here] can opener began to disintegrate before my eyes. First it would not puncture the top of the can, then it would pop out, and finally the opener portion stopped turning altogether. I resorted to simply hammering the can opener on the coffee container, but only damaged both further. I slammed the gadget into the trash with a hail of obscenities and was pissed off about it most of the day.