Vegas, Baby, Vegas

Recently back from Las Vegas. Amy and I got married. Here are some of the idiots we encountered...

VEGAS SHOW IS EROTIC, IF BY "EROTIC" YOU MEAN AVERAGE-LOOKING PEOPLE IN PADDED UNITARDS

Amy and I went to see a Vegas show called "The Fashionistas." We thought it would be a fun way to say goodbye to our families and finally have some time to ourselves. At least we had very good seats. The plot, such as it was, purported to involve fashion shows, S&M, "easter eggs" on DVD's and some sort of ultimate choice between good and evil for a fashion designer named Antonio. At least that is what the program said. As there was no dialogue in the show, I'll have to take their word for it. Interestingly, both Good and Evil were represented by women with different fetishes, but the erotic show featured no nudity. However, at some point, there was a guy humping a shoe to loud industrial music.

The show was hailed by local celebrity Robin Leach in the advertising. As an aside, one bartender at a nearby casino informed us that Mr. Leach never tips.

LINE OF MEN JUST WANTS TO TELL THE NICE PEOPLE ABOUT THE STRIPPERS

One of the most irritating things about Vegas is the seemingly constant onslaught of people trying to push leaflets about strippers and "escorts" at you. I actually feel bad for the people that have to hand these out -- I don't think anyone says that's what they want to be when they grow up -- but it gets a little intrusive. Also, it doesn't seem to matter if you are walking with a girlfriend, child or mother.

The last we saw, there is a 25% discount on Melanie while supplies last.

WOMAN RECLINES TWO-FOOT-TALL CHILD'S SEAT INTO KNEES OF SIX-FOOT-SIX MAN

Why do airline seats even recline? As someone who's 6'6", it is bad enough when the seats are in their full, upright positions. Typically, I cannot even get the foodtray over my knees. Anyway, I thought the seat in front of me on the way back was empty, so I figured I would be okay. But this woman in the seat next to it, leaned over and leaned it back. Then, she looked back at me to ask if I was okay and mumbled something. I assumed that she had made a mistake, and I tried to push the seat back up. Turned out that she was reclining the seat for her kid, whose legs barely dangled off the seat.

Naturally, I spent most of the flight trying to burn a whole in the back of her head with my mind.

On the way off the plane, her kid was demanding to keep something, and after a few moments his mother relented. Turned out that it was the safety information for the plane. Yeah, no one needs that.

*****

There were other noteworthy incidents, but those are the ones that stick out.