I stopped at a grocery store on the way in to work today to buy some water, Diet Coke, and something quick for lunch. What I had not planned on was encountering Andre, who is hopefully the world's only full-time grocery-store cashier, part-time standup comic.
I became concerned as Andre bombarded the woman in front of me with awful jokes. "My name is Andre. In Russia, my name is Andreas. In Mississippi, my name is mud." The woman in front smiled and laughed politely, which is more than I could muster.
When she left, Andre's routine went a little blue. After all, I'm a male so logically it follows that I must enjoy jokes about lesbians, right? Suppressing both a scream and the urge to grab the club of the policeman in line behind me, I suffered through his material by looking at the ATM card reader. He deliberately rang up my order slowly so that he could work in more jokes. I must have had "Yes, I'd like this instant soup and ten minutes of unbearable, Bazooka-Joe-caliber humor" written all over my face.
Andre claims to make $3000/year off of his comedy. Apart from people like me who would be more than willing to give him a tenner if he'd just shut up for a second, I don't see how this is possible.
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1 comment:
At least you didn't have a cashier commenting on your social life.
A few years ago I went to Giant and bought like a tv dinner, some chips and a bottle of wine. The cashier turned to me and said, "Spending the night alone, huh?". And of course I was. No need to rub it in, though.
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